Age on Becoming Mother survey

The majority of single women were between 37 and 44 when they gave birth to their first donor conceived child. Only 7% were over 46, of whom three were 50 plus.  Thus, we are relatively mature - no surprises there.

Older women who are choosing this option need to consider their resources for raising a child who will not become independent until they are in their mid-sixties or later: their opportunity to retire early, their pension prospects, their general health and stamina as well as the support network they can turn to if they should need help. Every mother I have ever spoken to expresses the fact that raising a child was more demanding and tiring than she had expected. Tiredness is simply a guaranteed fact of life for parents. I doubt that stating this here will change anybody’s mind, but it might help bear the reality and not feel to blame or at fault for the inevitable. Many young mothers in their 20s certainly complain of exhaustion too, it’s not all due to age, though ill-health won’t help.

Twenty-nine women had more than one child, including four mothers with twins. Eleven of them had a first child from a previous relationship, and eighteen had a second donor conceived child. Outside the group who took part in the survey, I also know women who adopted a second child and who had a child in a relationship that started after their donor conceived child was born, so all variants are possible, having one donor conceived child leaves every other option still open, apart from getting younger!